unorthodox home improvement practices

July 8, 2008

I just spackled all the nail holes in my apartment with toothpaste.

Before, when I went to see my landlady about getting my apartment ready for move-out, she informed me of what I had to do. I had to get a professional carpet cleaning done, replace burned out light bulbs, and fill any nail holes in the wall. “It should look like you would want it to when you moved in,” she told me.

The carpet cleaning: fine. It’s in the lease, I knew I had to do it. No big. The light bulbs: well, I suppose I did use them a little over the last year. It’s only fair that I replace what’s burned out. The nail holes?

When I moved in, it looked like whoever had been there last had not bothered with trying to find wall studs or trying to figure out where they would hang things before putting nails in the wall. Pock-marked is a generous description. In my bedroom, I put one dreamcatcher, one picture, two wall tapestries and a mirror on the walls. I found over thirty holes beyond what I had used. I imagine the self-conversation going like this.

*singing* “Nailing nails! Nailing nails!…Ooh, that’s not what I wanted to do”
*rip out the nail* “I love banging things with a hammer!”
*rips them out again* “Gosh, I just can’t make up my mind about how many nails I should carelessly puncture this dry wall with.”
Ad nauseum.

Landlady (if that) tells me to spackle over the holes, so I do it, just so I can get my deposit back. I already have to pay for the carpet cleaning out of my own pocket, and I can’t just let her deduct it from my deposit because then I’m in breach of contract.

Hopefully, the minty smell in here will die down over the next couple weeks. I also hope the new inhabitants enjoy their cavity- and tartar-free apartment!



  1. Heh. I was going to say something about the minty-fresh apartment. She didn’t specify WHAT you were to spackle with, did she?

  2. Cavity …heh. Punny.

  3. Toothpaste is always great for fake spackle. I have used it every time I”ve moved. I even used it in my RA dorm before I gave the finger to EMoo.
    Since there were tons of holes in the wall before you moved in, that should have been brought to her attention then. It would have been on her. Typically landpeople go in after a move out and tidy up a bit before the next person moves in.

  4. When I was an RA I showed the guys on my floor how to repair minor damages using toothpaste and their student ID.

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