surgery a la, uh, no appendix

March 8, 2008

My mother and I went back to the clinic on Thursday afternoon to get a check-up. I was feeling fine fine fine, and the doctor said I was in pretty good condition, but that she wanted to take some x-rays anyway. She did, and it went fine. There I was, sitting half naked in the x-ray room, singing songs to myself because, despite illness and missing work, I have been so far from the stress of my day to day life, I couldn’t help but sing.

The x-rays showed abnormal gas trails in my abdomen, so she wanted me to get further testing done at the ER. We went after lunch, waited five-and-a-half hours, and finally managed to get in to see a doctor. We waited some more, waited and waited, and finally the surgeon came in to see me. Told me he needed to get his boss’s opinion. The answer came back, “cut it out.”

I was scared, naturally. I have never broken a bone other than my pinkie toe, and never had any medical complications that didn’t last more than a couple days, nor any surgeries. Antibiotics, an explanation of the procedure, a trip to the operating room. Since I wasn’t wearing my glasses, I has a vision that the surgeons were superheroes, there to help me. The anesthetist was kind, to the point, assured me I was safe. The lady to helped move me to the table had kind, bright eyes. The lady across the way waved at me very warmly. The operating nurse was funny and smiled at me a lot. I did my best to keep my temperment up, and cracked jokes all night.

The next thing I remember, I’m sitting in another, darker room, in pain, but not for long because I kept falling asleep. I’ve been working on getting up and down, taking myself to the bathroom, eating solid food again, cleaning the incision sites, bathing. It isn’t easy, but I feel accomplished that I can do all this by myself. When I first woke up, I was having to have people pull me up or out of the bed, my mother spoon-fed me, held the straw to my mouth. I didn’t move, I barely let my eyes open.

Now, here I am, sitting on my grandfather’s couch again, looking at another week off of work, and trying to heal the best I can. I’ve been told apple juice is the best thing to help me pass the gas from the inflation part of my surgery. I’m dabbing “monkey blood” antiseptic on myself in the mirror. I’m trying to get up and move around.

I wanted to make a joke at one point that I was just this much less a man than I was before, but I think its more accurate to make jokes about kicking out noisy neighbors.



  1. Honestly, I’m relieved that they took it out. I know it was scary, and I know that recover sucks, but I think you’re going to be a lot more healthy without your appendix.

    I’m sending you good, healing (farting?) energy…

  2. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; so I’m told.

  3. I am glad you are alright!

  4. You seem to be handling it so well! Feel better soon!

  5. I’m so glad that you are alright! I was prayin’ for ya lots. Have a speedy recovery. Happy tooting…just play the Space Ghost Coast to Coast “I like beans” song. hehe. 😀

  6. o.0 Do you feel any lighter now? Say a pound or so? Just curious …

    Glad your doing ok and feeling better. I’m glad they took it out, who needs that silly organ anyways?

    🙂 Get to feeling better dude!

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