January 19, 2008

I never had braces. I was supposed to. I was supposed to get braces just after waiting for eight of my baby teeth to fall out. This was all when I was thirteen. The orthodontist took the x-rays and decided that he would wait for the rest of the baby teeth to come out. Smart man, as I wasn’t too fond of the idea of having braces at the time. Even more so now. I see adults with braces, and while I understand purpose of them, I feel bad. Forty-year-old women I meet with braces, and I think, man it must be hard being forced back into teenage-hood. I would never dare say these words aloud, as I’m sure these women are troopers and can probably bludgeon a man to death with whatever they happen to be carrying.

Even the teenagers. I see them with there shiny metal contrapted teeth, and I wonder how it feels. Granted, braces are probably more common today than ever. I taught a kid once who told the story of how his teeth were perfectly normal and his mother made him get braces anyway. His teachers confirmed this. He would break off one or two braces from his teeth, slide it across the wire, all so he could still play trumpet. Good kid, that one.

Two of the percussionists got thier braces off over the break. It’s nice to have a little less spit-sucking talk in the class, and they are ever so charming gentlemen now. Well, in appearance. They are still thirteen.

It’s almost an unnatural beauty. I think of my own teeth, and the slight compaction of my lower set, mixed with the supernomial tooth and the one baby tooth that still hasn’t gone away yet, and the two forward facing wisdom teeth on the bottom row, and the two swinging doors on the top set that threaten to just rot.

Though I brush twice daily, my mouth is pleasantly unmined.



  1. For what I remember, I thought you had pretty even teeth. I, on the other hand, just say I’m British.

  2. You missed out on some good times- headgear to push the molars back, rubber bands to fix alignment, braces a second time due to hitting a dog while riding a bike right after getting first set off, binator to treat TMJ. Good times indeed.

  3. hehe. I’m english!

    I get it. I get it. I have bad teeth!

  4. Braces sucked. I had them in 6th grade. Granted, it was only 4 brackets, I still got teased alot. By the time high school hit it was trendy and I wondered why I had to have them so early.

  5. Agreed….braces really sucks. Especially the retainers….it takes a longgggggggggg time to get rid. 😉

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