November 27, 2007

I don’t know how many of these things I’ve gotten over the years, but it seems Jen makes hand-painted ornaments nearly every year since, oh, probably 2002. I think that’s when I got the first one. Wait, no, I think I got one a year before that. I got this year’s Ornament in the mail yesterday. It’s adorable! This little purple angel, blond hair, bells. So cute. Looks just like her. Okay, not really.

Bad news is it’s broken clean in two. Actually, with the state that it is in, I’m probably repairable with a little bit of apoxy. I’ll have to find someone with steadier hands than myself to fix it, though. The only extraneous fragment that seems to have falled off is a bell, right on the front. I’ve pieced the thing back together twice, laying on my desk, and both times, I was able to drop the bell right in place, no problem. Otherwise, it looks like an angel that’s gone through some magic stage show. Still smiling, at that.

I also go a card from her with a picture of her, her husband and new bouncing baby boy. While I’m not the type to send out cards, and Christmas isn’t exactly my holiday, I do like getting such simple correspondence. Especially the picture. I’ve got two pictures now that family on my friends. One in my wallet, now that I think of it.

That’s something interesting about the holidays that I both love and hate: the fellowship. Seems to be a recurring theme here.

The holidays seem to bring out this innate need to be together with people. Maybe it’s because it gets so cold outside sometimes. Maybe it’s because of the messages delivered with the holiday packages: those of peace, love, rebirth, salvation, forgiveness, family, hope. All the good warm fuzzies, I suppose. Maybe it’s because we whir around so much during our normal daily lives that we have to have some sort of time to put ourselves aside for a little lovin’. I know I do. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing my mother after not visiting her for months at a time. Not that I’m good about that anyway, but that’s another post all together.

Maybe it’s the other way around: we focus so much energy on being together, being at home with loved ones on these special days in the bleak midwinter that we spend ourselves and have to retreat to our opposite corners for a while. And by the time we feel up to doing it all again, its time.

Okay, so none of that is fool-proof. I know I certainly don’t enjoy every waking moment of the holidays, and while my family’s precarious situation (losing my grandmother, grampa getting married, brother has his girl, people moving, etc.) isn’t that bad, it does seem to get in the way of holiday cheer, as it were.

I found myself last week, while I was sitting at home trying not to get sick (and partly failing, though I’m feeling better, thanks), wanting to light a few candles, say a couple words, and stick my feelers out there for the great unknown. Maybe there is a god out there still waiting for me to open up enough. Maybe not, but I thought, for just about thirty minutes or so, that it might be worth the effort. This is what the holidays do to me: make me a sentimental.



  1. My grandmother makes little ornaments every year, too. My favorite is one I got in 1985 – a TEENY TINY little nativity scene with sugar-snow set up under a Nyquil-type medicine cup.

    I’m glad you’re starting to feel better. Keep it up.

  2. Maybe, for once, my comment won’t get eatten. I’m sorry the angel broke hun. Superglue does work wonders on repairing the ornaments. That’s the only fatality by mail I’ve had with those too.If you want, I can paint another one for you. *hugs* Love ya.

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