loan problemNovember 5, 2007
Loans. I have them.
Within the next month, I’m going to join the thousands (if not millions, now) of college graduates who are paying prosperity to financial institutions of all shapes and sizes for the next fifteen to twenty years of their lives. My grace period will come up, and I’ll be sucked into the atmospheric decompression unit it known as Pay Back Time.
Typically, the paying back is more revengeful than sheepish. I anticipate that ever instinct I have that will want to rage out will be demurred by another piece of floating sea trash bill paper. Just another slice of life to stuff in a drawer.
When did becoming educated become something to apologize for? I imagine there is a warehouse somewhere, crammed from floor to rafter with enormous mason jars, slowly collecting money; coins, checks, bills all gently sloshing around, dancing almost. Happy to be free of the grimy hands of degree-holding peoples everywhere. Thousands of such jars simply contain a scrap of paper with “I.O.U.” scribbled in sharpie with a dotted-line box reading “place diploma here” below it.
What will be my repay? Almost twice what I’d be willing to afford to make up for my momentary lack of judgment when deciding to borrow money in the first place. This is before consolidation. If I don’t consolidate, the good part will be that going to grad school will stop me from having to pay back the loan until I graduate. If I don’t consolidate, I will also have to pay more than $200 a month out of salary that barely lets me live comfortably as it is.
If I do consolidate, then I will have nearly half as much to pay out of pocket, but will not be allowed the same free standing “I.O.U.” again should I decide to return to school, which I likely will do in the next five years. It’s a conundrum most foul.
I’ve considered the option of signing up for school now, and suffering a couple months of heavy bill bombardment. However, nothing seems more misguided than trying to go back to college to avoid paying bills.
Is this what growing up is really like? Is this what I had to look forward to all this time?