one week…chickity china

August 17, 2007

Again, I’ve made it through. One week down. Of course, as one of the band boosters informs me, it might not be wise to start counting weeks just yet. Dually noted, but in the course of this week, I think I may have reacquired a couple important lessons:

1. Breathe. This is my weakest lesson. I have never been able to really grab this lesson by the horns and pull, though I think its gonna have to happen soon. I’m not one for giving up on something, and I’m not one to down-size my intensity for sake of production value. I think, the harder I’m working and more excited I am, the better the end result will be, and it must be good in the end. I’m finding with so many things in my life, the candle that burns brightest, burns fastest.  So, after day two, where I nearly cried myself to sleep over my lack of preparation that was neither my fault or the fault of the children, or the system or anyone else (its just the first week, of course things are gonna be shaky), I decided to turn my frustrations into point two.

2. I just have to plan a bit better. It seems to be me that, through all the years of being in band, I learned that bands don’t need lesson plans. This is a lie. Coordinating the efforts of 50 seventh and eighth grade (or 15 ninth through twelfth graders) takes planning and effort behind the scenes that before was just that to me: behind the scenes. Even during my student teaching or college education courses, I was never told to make lesson plans or even devise an over-arching scheme of what I’d like done in a classroom. The result: a brain that teams with ideas of things it would like to improve, but no experience and making those changes, or even learning to adapt to a system in order to start changes. The last two days have been dedicated to me writing lesson plans for the next week, which have to be turned in early anyway, so that I can start on Monday again with some plan of what’s going to happen from moment to moment. These plans are rudimentary, and could be honed with practice, like so many things, but they are a great start for me. Yes, it means I’m up at the band hall until 5. It also means that I won’t hate this job long before I should, or ought to, or one of those helping verbs.

Downside of things thus far: I’m behind on podcasts that I’d fallen in love with long ago. Soon, I’ll have to sort through the ones that are worth holding onto, and tossing the rest. I’d gotten so used to plugging in every day to hear some horror story or listen to the radio version of a TV news program, but I just don’t have time anymore. Some of my podcasts can be listened to with a passive brain (the music ones) but the rest, I just feel horribly if I don’t dedicate my brain and ears to them when I’m listening. I’m not sitting in the library anymore doing mindless work. I’m actually busy doing important things, so something has to go. Odd as it is, it breaks my heart.

Of course, this doubles over into how much I’ve paid attention to my blog in the last three weeks. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be super attentive, but NaBloPoMo is coming up again, and I do intend to participate and win this year. I miss writing, but my brain just wants to veg a little when I get home. Who know how this all will work out, but I think the best thing to do is ride the wave, do my best, and not think too far into the future. I’ve been doing that for years, and it didn’t really serve me that well. It just made me bitter.

If anyone knows the voltage of AC adapter I need for a Long Ranger III, I’d love to know, so i can actually get this hideous black bullhorn out of my living room floor. Cheers!


One comment

  1. I’m sorry that your first week seemed so stressful, but I am glad that you reflected back on it and learned from it. Trial and error is the way to go sometimes. Never give up!

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