feelin’ feasty

July 5, 2007

Appetizer – What was the first job you ever had?

Ever? Like, ever ever?! I suppose it would be making copies for Newspapers in Education. I made $5/hr. to sit in a room and duplicate 200-page, front and back, booklets on how to incorporate newspapers into math. And this was before coalators! Most of these packets had exercises like “Count the number of words per article and get an average,” or “Find an article about a veteran and then discuss war.” Excuse me while I stick a toothbrush down my gullet.

Soup – (Taken from Bravo’s Inside the Actor’s Studio) – Name a profession you have always wanted to try.

I would totally be an astronomer. I want to be sitting around staring into telescopes all day and theorizing how Red Shifts indicate that the universe is expanding, and that all magnatars are quasars, but not all quasars are magnatars, and stuff like that! Yeah! If only I could remember how to do basic multiplication….

Salad (also from the Actor’s Studio) – Name a profession you would NEVER want to try.

Waste management.
“We got your new shipment of…poo.”
“Great just put it over there. Wait! No, I can’t put it there, that’s for grocery store bags and other non-biogradable plastics…Oh, just give it to me, I’ll find a place for it.”
“Sure thing, boss. I don’t know how we got through a single day without you…”

Sentimental, no?

Entree – (also from the Actor’s Studio) – What is your favorite sound in the world?

I’d probably have to go with the suction sound I can make when I cup my hand over my eye. I know that’s weird, but it entertains me for hours! Try it, its great!

Dessert – (and from the Actor’s Studio) – If there is a Heaven, what would you like to hear from God when you arrive?

“Did you get my peanut butter M&M’s? No?! Jesus Christ!”



  1. “I’ll find a place for it.”


  2. Interesting first job. 🙂 Was this the days before they had copier too? I can remember seeing in the teachers lounge a big cirlce with a handle on it. You put the paper on it with what you wanted on the other papers and started turning. This is how teachers would make handouts. Crazy that I can remember that. I don’t even remember the name of that machine or gizmo. Do you?

    Great feast. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Great feast.
    Ahh…waste management, don’t think I want to try it either.
    Thanks for sharing. Happy Friday!

  4. Waste manager ? What a romantic idea, lol, nothing for me either !

  5. Ack, my first college job was like your first job. My desk would have piles of papers and I’d have to go through them by hand and staple ’em and hole punch ’em.

    Hehe, maybe we both don’t like to be stinky?

  6. Derek….I love your feast. It’s such a wonderful array of dishes you’ve served up. But wait…..poo? Oh…..on second thought, none for me, thanks.

    Happy feasting.

    [and I thought your poetry on the F F blog comments was cute too]

  7. I love the Actor’s Studio questions – and the answers some of the actors give. My favorite was Matt Damon who, when asked what his favorite curse word was, said: “Bleep. No, bleep. No, wait – bleep. Aw, bleep, it’s gotta be bleep.” He settled with the F word, and explained that, in Boston, we use it as a means of pausing between thoughts; “Alright; see you when you get here. Wait! F**kinnnnn….. Oh, yeah! Grab some chips on your way home…” I was HOWLING because, you know, he’s RIGHT – we DO do that….

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