Today is humility day. A fine day where all the smiling and happy people of the world, from all walks of life, join hands and lay down the sad sad facts of their lives so that no one else may have the opportunity of puncturing the growing globiod of their skulls. I perused my links and took a trip back to The Dragon’s Landing Inn, which I’ve not been to in a while, and took myself to this list. It simply lists some general qualifiers of different sub-culture-like group. Let the humbling begin:

1. You alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person. (Actually, I never use the third person)
2. When someone says “The blue books,” you don’t automatically picture the kind that they give you during a college final exam.
3. You have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text. (I have .pdf formatted copies of the World of Darkness Corebook, Vampire: the Requiem Rulebook, Werewolf: the Forsaken, and Mage: the Awakening…and also own hard copies of each…that I purchased after I got the .pdfs.)
4. You’ve ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
5. You bring your dicebag even to diceless roleplaying events. (Took my dicebag to my grandparents house in the event that I might get to role up a character or two.)
6. Your friend(s) who does not game feels very left out of all of your conversations.
7. You’ve been gaming for more than half of your life. (Give me three years.)
8. You and your friends have spent a screening of “The Crow” assigning vampire clans to the various characters. (It was really “Underworld,” “Buffy,” “Interview with a Vampire,” “Queen of the Damned,” “The Covenant,” and a number of other supernatural movies. And it wasn’t just for vampires.)
9. You have a dozen things in mind for when you come across a magic lamp. (I get bored.)
10. You’ve looked into how much it would cost to build a castle.
11. The only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and the gang can go up there and play non-stop all weekend without any distractions. (I know people who live like this. I envy them.)
12. You’ve ever found yourself associating with people who you’d otherwise avoid in public - because they were Gamers.
13. You know game rules so well, the group doesn’t use ‘em any more, they use you. (This is really for my roommate. After two sessions of him correcting everything I said that came from a rule book, I just started to defer all my questions to him. He hasn’t minded as of yet, and it’s made things much smoother in-game.)
14. You ever started a character as evil. (More often than good, I’m proud to say…I mean ashamed, Ashamed!)
15. You actually enjoy being the GM.

I feel better now.

Now, I would say that I know I’m not gonna get laid for five years, but I know more gamers who have spouses and multiple kids than I know un-gamers. Okay, that’s exaggerated, but gamers have sex too, dammit, and that’s okay by me.

Appetizer
How fast can you type?

I don’t know, but its probably in the upper seventies. It used to be absolutely dismal. However, I blame online role-play and lots of IM conversations. Damn you chat rooms!

Soup
What is your favorite online game?

Ooh, I wish I had a favorite. I guess, I’m gonna have to go with the Lightsaber Training Module at Kontraband. If only it were an MMO or something. Alas, I am too poor for such frivolity.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), how intelligent do you think you are?

I’d have to standard myself at 7. I can pass pretty much any college course I’m given, I’m sure. However, I make just as many dumb mistakes in life and in academia as anyone else. Mostly, they are careless mistakes.

Main Course
Name three of your best teachers from your school years.

1. First and foremost, I must mention the fine and wonderful Mrs. Lynn Birch. She was my Enriched Learning Program teacher (yes, I’m a GT kid). I can easily say that she single handedly promoted my poetry. If she hadn’t forced me to read the things I wrote outloud and encourage me to write more and more every day, I don’t think I would be nearly as proficient or in love with writing as I am. She helped me learn to work with others dispite differences, and she helped learn to think for myself a bit. No, a lot.

2. Mrs. Sally Lowry was the 9th grade English teacher that helped me and my friends start the “Writer’s Society,” a club we started that year to let those of us who were trying our hands at writing have a platform to explore that better. Also, she encouraged my writing, and she encouraged my wanting to read more. I probably wouldn’t have tackled the Incarnations of Immortality series in high school without her. I read seven books in seven months. That’s a lot for me!

3. Then comes Mrs. Linda Waller. She was the grandmotherly teacher. She was kind, smiling, a little bit spoiling, and fostering of the free intellectual atmosphere of two of my English classes (noticing a pattern here?). I had her two years in a row. She was the AP English teacher in my Junior year, and most promoted to head of the department the next year, so she also started to teach Senior AP English. Two years with the same teacher and the same classmates. It was like being in a conversatory, where your collegues remained the same for long periods of time. She encouraged us to discover our own answers in life, and she taught us form of language a little betten than others had, so it was certainly refreshing. Also, she would sing to us, and it was lovely.

(4. I could add Melissa Myers here, but that’s a subject all on its own.)

Dessert
What are your plans for this upcoming weekend?

Well, this weekend, I’m hoping to go on a date. Actually, that would be today. I’ve got a date with a guy here in the town where my grandparents live, so I’m gonna sneak out this afternoon. Then I have to work on Sunday. Go money!

So much food! Oh my god! I’ve never had so much food in one place at one time.

Two hams
A brisket
Two potato casseroles
Five different vegetables
Two jello salads
A green salad
A cream spinach casserole
A green bean casserole
Four loaves of bread
Four pans of homemade hot rolls
Five gallons of tea
Two chocolate cakes
Two yellow cakes
Two plates of brownies
A pineapple upside-down cake
A stew
A pea salad
A bowl of cole slaw

I think that’s everything. I can’t be sure, for sure. And to think that we’re only about halfway through it all, even when we had about 50 people in the house yesterday. It was a full on buffet! So much food! So many people!
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Many thoughts have run through my head since yesterday. One being that I’m so absolutely relieved that my grandmother is finally out of her pain. Major back surgery, a triple by-pass, years of constant morphine and darvoset drunkenness. She lived almost six years in complete pain, eventually beginning to shut down. She’s had two concussions and she’s suffered a number of falls and the constant, perilous reduction in oxygen to her brain which made it harder and harder to watch her fade into nothing. But now, she is gone, and the pain is done.

There are a number of memories that I could share, and I intend to, as I work on the poem that I started a couple months ago that was about this whole struggle with her health. It’s been hard to edit it lately. You’ll get to see the work when its more complete.

One of the strangest things about this last 24 hours has been the conversation with my brother, to whom I’m mostly estranged. We have a distant relationship based in the trauma and mishaps of our family (more at 11), and so now, we rarely talk except on holidays, like good brothers should. Yesterday, I called him:

“I’m just thinking about how much she’s not in pain. She’s up in Heaven, Derek. Up there with the angels, and the pearly gates, where the streets are paved in gold!”

“Huh.”

“I just know she’s in a lot better place than this messed up world.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“Man, you’re gonna be there Friday, right?”

“I’m trying. School is sorta conflicting.”

“Well, you should be there, and if they tell you you can’t, you tell them to go f themselves.”

*laughter from me* “Well, I was just checking to see how you were.”

“I’m good.”

“Alright, love ya. Later.”

“Love you, later.”

The irony is that he was lecturing me on what I needed to do and about where she is. *sigh*

I sit on the boundary of tears and anticipation, not quite knowing what I should do. My family is not putting any pressure on me for what I should do, but my mother tells me if I don’t go to the funeral, there isn’t much point in me being there. I know she doesn’t mean that. And it hasn’t really affected what I want to do. Not that I know what that is yet.

I want to honor the traditions of the family and attend the funeral. There is not an open casket, and I am grateful. Every other relative I’ve seen post mortem has not been the relative I’d known in life, and it stirs me uncomfortably.

I will close today, with a poem from three years ago, and three weeks from now:

Have you ever spied the black bird on the wing?
He glides like a shadow,
on even the brightest day!
Make no sound, and neither will he.
But a truck starting, or a leaf rustling–
Caw-gorgle-pop! his throat calls.
It’s like drums leading to
gallows. Odd, empty, foreboding.
And that glassy yellow eye,
looks like rot looking for food.
I can imagine a fat worm,
dripping from its beak–
Almost hear it screaming, for with one gulp,
its gone.
and all I hear is his cackle.
Fwee-caw! Cree-pop!
Sounds like words of raillery, only I sense no light-heart.
No heart at all.
No, I don’t cring, but I’d rather spot that Robin.
Golden beak, prouding standing.
And that same fat worm would tempt no voice.
And its black peering is calm,
almost challenging. It’s breast–
That red mountain of spring!

Today, about 7:30 pm, Betty Lou Hobbs, my grandmother, my mother’s mother, passed away.

Her last few years were hard. Her last few breathes were easy. She went in peace.

Please keep my family in your thoughts.

Obviously, the price of gas is pretty high everywhere. Some economist (which I can’t source because I forgot where it was) said that the price of gas will only start to faze the nation when it gets above $3/gallon. This is true to some extent. I think people are planning a bit more because its $30 every time you pass through the station. However, people for the most part are not slowing down their usage.
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From Friday’s Feast:

Appetizer
What is your favorite kind of bread?

I’m partial to Hawaiian bread, because its oh so light and fluffy. However, I’ve experienced brushetta on a couple occasions, and I have to say that I like bread that requires dipping. Go dipping!

Soup
When was the last time you bought a new pillow?

Oh geez, probably when I just moved into my last apartment. However, years ago, I stopped using two pillows at night because I felt it was putting unnecessary strain on my back by keeping my head elevated, but not my back. So when I buy a new pillow, I always feel like I’m trying to look at my feet. I do try to keep it fluffed enough, though, that it doesn’t go flat too soon. Nothing more pointless than a flat pillow. I’ve often tossed one in the floor in favor of nothing at all.

Salad
Approximately how many hours per week do you spend surfing the ‘net?

Geez, probably 20 or so. Enough to substitute another job for. I could easily not surf the web and also be able to pay my bills more efficiently.

Main Course
What’s the highest you remember your temperature being?

I think it was maybe around 103. However, I’m sure if it was ever higher than that, I wouldn’t really be able to remember it. I’ve always remained pretty healthy my whole life, so typically my fevers have only been around 100 or so.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks:  When I listened to World Cafe featuring Loreena McKennitt this morning, I decided it was time to read a book on ancient civilizations.

The quiet of the library isn’t so much relaxing as it is freeing. I feel I have a better range of motion here, and I feel a bit more in my element than in most places. This is a refuge of sorts, here, behind this big bulky desk at this semi-restricted computer. Oh, the hours I’ve put here.

However, tonight is one of the nights I find myself a bit more bored than usual. I don’t want to apply for jobs, and I don’t want to write or read. In place of normal boredom activities like finding fun flash games or digging around blogs or just talking to people, I’m going for something different: Bibliomancy.
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Because I just can’t keep my hands off the keyboard (or more appropriately, I love my blog so much), I’ve found something interesting to show here at EatsBugs. It is a posting from The Simple Dollar. Let me preface a bit.

I have no job. Well, that not entirely true. I do work for the library on my college campus, but I currently only work 5 hours a week because I’ve been student teaching. Student Teaching has taken up so much of my time and energy that, even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could regularly show up for any work beyond the 7-4 day I have already. However, after my short jaunt to Stillwater, OK, I found myself sitting on 36 dollars and change in my bank account, and thus, need to pick up some extra shifts.

This also means that I need to not do anything, at all, that will require the expenditure of money this weekend. I’m going to Corpus Christi, TX, this next week, and I’d like to be able to eat while I’m there.

So, here you are: Fifteen Free Things to Do During a Money-Free Weekend, by Trent at thesimpledollar.com:
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